Good lord so I see
THIS is happening?
I was hoping that it
was just more nonsense from the left winged BBC but no. I’m sad to report it’s
all true.
Jane Austen writer of
books and adaptor of Pride and Prejudice for the BBC is, I see, going to be
added to the ten pound note.
Apart from the
chocolate maker Elizabeth Fry and of course Her Majesty, this is the first time
one of us girls has appeared on the currency of our glittering Isle. It’s not
happening until 2017 and I for one am very glad of that and I’ll tell you for why.
I’ll need that long to
get used to it.
Once again I find
myself in the position of being forced to comment on public events as the 'go
to girl' for sense and reason. This is why I’ve been catapulted unwillingly into
the spotlight of public discourse; also I’m paying my PR company an obscene
amount of money to boost my profile.
So this leads me back
to my point. Feminists are evil.
They will no doubt
swoop down and wave their hairy armpits at me, but girls you must cease and
desist. No one will want to marry you, if you don’t calm down dears.
Emancipation? I think
you mean Emasculation
Jane Austen has I’m
sure many fine attributes but was she, I ask you now, a wife and a mother? No
she was not. She was sadly, a career girl and as a well known celebrity
upholder of family values I must tentatively raise a hand (unless there is a
man being silenced by my answering the question. Feminist girls would do well
to heed that basic courtesy)
This is why I offer my
new course of intensive, caring (and reasonably priced) Feminism aversion therapy.
“Two steps behind”
Mainly because the
many men I talk to in the course of my philanthropy tell me often of their
heartbreaking challenges at the hands of the ladies in their lives.
Here are some of their
complaints
Brian from Maidenhead
writes “Dear Mrs Mountable how do I get my wife to shut up moaning all of the
time and concentrate on getting a hot dinner on the table of an evening. I’m
just sick of her excuses and very stressed as I’m between jobs currently. She works full time whilst looking after
our 4 children and my elderly mother. I feel ignored. Is she just lazy?”
Paul from Plymouth writes,
“Dear Mrs Mountable after my mother in law bought my wife “How to be a woman”
by Caitlin Moran (ringleader of feminist
cult) I keep finding them huddled in the kitchen laughing. Now she’s
answering back all the time. Please help”
Neil from Inverness writes,
“How big are your tits”
As you can see modern
boys are finding all this rampant feminism troubling and concerning.
Modern girls have lost
the ability to realise that men are always right and this is, I’m sure, the
reason that divorces are at an all time high. Between that and flagrant
disregard of basics such as looking pretty, staying thin and neglecting the
housework and hubbies bedtime requirements, whilst bragging about how unkempt
their front bottoms are; girls are losing sight of their place and role in
society.
Which is of course
two steps behind.
Dave had it right Britain is Broken. Shrill and vocal girls demanding “rights” and “equality”
have smashed our glorious realm to smithereens. Thereby utterly robbing men of
their rights and supremacy. Its just beyond, I tell you, beyond.
It must stop.
Anyway I must get on. Dear wayward Piers has been in touch to
ask me to to hunt out his passport for a porn fact finding mission abroad with
his assistant and husband purloining Whore
of Babylon, Kathleen. Dear man can’t quite let me go.
I know I will triumph
in the end dears.
Your friend Mrs M. x
